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We left Cusco this morning, and on the plane I found myself torn between two very different, very strong emotions: the desire to stay here with my group and my instructors and not let this whoel thing end, and the desire to be at home eating at Olive Garden with my parents with my ipod in my hand. The latter at the time was definitely stonger, I really really really want my ipod back, but now that I think about it, this place has seen so muhc of me and it has had to grace to show me a little of itself that I dont know how I feel about leaving. When something takes a little of you, you are naturally a little reluctant to leave that piece of you behind. I have left sweat in Perus jungles, tears in its hostels, and blood on its soccer fields, and somewhere up in the foothills of Apu Ausungate I left what was left of my fears about this world and my place in it. I left the person I was when I got here somewhere on the side of the road from Puerto to Cusco, or on a boat on the Madre de Dios, or in a shady, peaceful corner of Macchu Picchu, I´m not quite sure where, and though I feel infinitely lighter with the girl gone and the new young woman ready to sprint into that infinity we call the future, I still feel a slight sorrow at the loss of what I was.

It was thoughts such as these that filled my mind as we touched down in Lima. Feeling slightly melancholy, I stepped off the plane, until I remembered that one of the things the new me does is not let the world get here down, realized that no matter what happens I will be OK because the new me had been to the place the old me thought she couldnt go beyond and stepped over that line, looked back, and saw that there was really nothing to fear. I smiled as I thought this, and then I smiled wider because at that moment I also realized that 48 hours from now I will be on my way towards my parents, my friends, my bed, my dogs, the sweet refuge that is my house and then soon after that my other refuge, my school, and finally, and perhaps most exciting and comforting, YES, FINALLY, AFTER A WHOLE MONTH, my ipod.


🙂 Liz